She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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