Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
