You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
