I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
