six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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