I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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