my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
