yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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