she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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