The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
