my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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