I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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