Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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