you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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