I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
