im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I deserve this hangover.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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