I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
