Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
