to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
