She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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