there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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