hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize