My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
