You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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