First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
