dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
