I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
