i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize