You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
kristin has been a bad kristin
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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