Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize