My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
