dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
