I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
