I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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