At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
