Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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