Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
