my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
