Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
