THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
