I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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