Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We are two peas in an std pod
She's the barista slut.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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