found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
