At least make sure they are 18
Why
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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