You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
