I cannot find my penis.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Even my vagina gasped.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
