Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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