I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
