Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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