I can tuck mytits in my pants
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
