He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Randomize
